Headache
by grilledjellyfish
Summary: Waking up after a long party, Sakura gets to see more of Kakashi than she had ever hoped for. Am not talking about his face... KakaSaku
1. Chapter 1

Author speaking: 

This is my first try on KakaSaku! I never thought it possible for me to even consider writing this, but thanks to some talented authors out there, the thought of this particular pairing didn't seem too off anymore and this idea manifested itself in my lil brain and wouldn't leave me alone.

This is the prologue to something greater, but if you all think this is a waste of time and energy, it could also stand alone as one-shot. (btw. this is the shortest story I have ever written!!)

I know I already have another story currently running on ('Bright Moon'), but I couldn't keep this from the world, ne!  
Read on and have fun! And don't forget to r&r!!

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She should ignore it.

She was a konuichi for God's sake! She could ignore a lot of things: pain, torture, emotions, her inner self, Naruto. The list went on and on, so why, Oh Why! couldn't she ignore the call of nature as well?!

Inhaling (not so deeply), Sakura made a grimace when her bladder made her unmistakenly aware of its existence and the fact that it would make her squirm in discomfort if she planned to stay on her couch another second. But still she decided to take chances and challenge her body to disobey her.

A strange weight, she hadn't been aware of until then, decided to shift around her right thigh and with a frown,  
Sakura cracked her eyes slightly open, reavealing a thin line of glassy green. Her blurred vision wasn't good enough yet to catch flying kunais out of midair, but it served its purpose to make out fuzzy orange somethings pressed against her lower body.

Her hand clenched into a fist and hovered dangerously near Naruto's face were it was nuzzling (deep in lala-land) her exposed leg. He had his arms wrapped around her knee like tentacles and she could actually feel him mumble something incoherently against her skin.

Her fist was still above his temple, when she got once more aware of the pressure in her full bladder. What a bitch!  
She would have to punish Naruto later for that stunt, because right now, moving was equal to death and she wanted to stay dry for another few minutes.

Retracting her hand, she lay down again and breathed slowly through her nose.

It was then, that she felt a slight pounding in the bridge of her nose, which soon enough would lead to a full headache and the feeling of having boiling hot magma in her stomach.  
'Oh, yeah.', she thought when she got reminded of why exactly Naruto was currently using her as his personal teddy.

She had been part of a pretty happy get together last night... well, more like a huge party actually, but in the end they had all been together! With lots of food, candy and booze.

The reason for their little fun?  
Sakura had passed the jounin-exam with flying colors and had decided to start her one week vacation with the right amount of 'BANGS'. So she had invited everybody currently present in Konoha into her sweet little apartment and ignore (well, apart from her bladder, she could normally ignore anything) her bruised everythings and blue right eye.

Most of her buddies had happily volunteered to help her empty bottles of sake and plates stuffed with goodies.  
With some glee, the medic was sure that those souls unfortunate enough to be on missions would later surely hear from their party and cry in frustration for having not been part of it! Inner Sakura was laughing evilly!

The noise of somebody male grunting in his sleep got her attention next and with a sigh, the pink haired medic decided to finally open her eyes completely and take stock of her surroundings.

What greeted her over-sensitive sight first was again Naruto and his obsessive grip on her leg. As her eyes began to travel, she started wondering just how much alcohol had been involved exactly last night, because she couldn't remember having seen anybody break down on her coffee table.

But here he was, one drooling Kiba. He still had his hand wrapped around an empty bottle and was snoring happily away.

Next came the male slaves Tsunade kept for entertainment purposes only (some bad tongues mumbled secretly.  
Izumo and Kotetsu lay sprawled out on the carpet just beside a (not right now) senbon-sucking ninja.

If Genma had only been missing his trademark chewing stick, the world in, Sakura's opinion, still would have had a chance to continue spinning unfazed, but what made the scene unfolded in front of her the most surreal thing ever was the fact he had his pants half way down his legs. She just hoped for her own mind's sake that she wouldn't remember the actual circumstances that had led to his partly undressed state.

It was one thing dealing with Genma when he was sober and still able to be a tiny little bit charming towards the female gender, but she was just sure that this time, this hadn't been the case. The fact that he was lying alone there with his metal senbon discarded somewhere in her living room (Irks!) was naturally contributing to her assumption.

Yawning, Sakura allowed her gaze to travel and was surprised to find one third of team 10 half lying, half sitting against her radiator, his ponytaled black hair in the most perfect state possible (did he actually ever had a bad hair day?). Where Shikamaru's companions were, she didn't know. Ino and Chouji had probably gone home last night (and why hadn't they just dragged some guests along? Dammit...).

Her arms rose above her head as she decided to stretch her sleepy limbs. Some ribs (still bruised from her fight the day before) protested vehemently against the movement, but she decided to heal them later before she would start cleaning the mess the party had left behind (no she would not think about the litter worth a day's work lying around her apartment).

"Naruto." Sakura mumbled with a slightly slurred voice, patting her friend's head clumsily.

Gaining no reaction whatsoever, she pushed his shoulders away from her and wriggled her leg carefully free of his embrace.  
Pleased that he was actually working with her, she watched as he suddenly threw his arms above his form and groped the poor air for something else to hug.

When they came across (literally) nothing, Naruto suddenly sat up, alcohol-lidded eyes slightly open. They flickered across his immediate surroundings and finally settled on Kiba lying peacefully on the coffee table.  
"S'kura..." Was all he blurted almost unintelligibly, before he fell over and landed partly on the Inuzuka heir, who in return, protested slightly under the new weight on his chest. But instead of waking, he merely grunted his disapproval and slept on.

Features blank, Sakura watched the couple for another few seconds, barely believing that the two dumbies were that drunk!  
But before she could plan any blackmail actions, her bladder of doooooom announced its instabile status and demanded release.

Getting up carefully from her couch, Sakura waded slowly on wobbly legs towards the bathroom door. Mildly surprised,  
she found it closed and the light button switched on. Somebody was inside? Se couldn't remember anyone staying as well.  
maybe Ino hadn't gone home after all? And what about Neji and Lee? No, she was pretty sure that Gai had left with the two men in tow somewhere before one in the morning. But only after she had threatened Lee with physical violence if he dared to drink anything even pseudo-alcoholic! (And everybody in and around Konoha was aware of Sakura's violent antics after the consumption of booze.)

That only left Kakashi, but well, Kakashi was Kakashi (self explanatory; Duh!). He never got drunk enough that he'd actually have to stay at somebody's house. Sakura couldn't even remember having ever heard him drawl drunkenly or do stupid stuff like certain other male (or female) friend's of hers did after two cups of sake.

Hell, that damn man even remembered to keep his mask on, no matter how much sake and whining ex-students were involved!

So well... maybe one of the guys over there had forgotten to switch it off. Happened all the time.

Pressing down the handle, she opened the door and stepped inside. As she closed it behind her again, she found the toilet seat open and the mirror glass slightly fogged. But to her dismay, her brain was unable to formulate a clear thought and the need to pee was almost overwhelming (and suppressing all senses and coherent thoughts).

Opening the zipper of her dress, Sakura started unwrapping the bindings from around her upper thighs, ready to let the dam break, when suddenly:

"Yo."

"Morni..."

The sentence hung unfinished in mid-air and with a very unlady-like and unninja-ish squeak of shock and terror, the pinkette jolted into awareness and turned around awkwardly. "Kakashi!" She yelped, wishing she had been that lucid when she had entered three seconds ago.

But noooooo!

A blinking-fit overcame her as she found her former sensei (yeah, always keep that in mind!) standing naked in front of the shower cubicle (well, almost naked... he still had a towel around his face and one wrapped around his lower mid-section with his hands holding both inadequate items in place).

"Wh-what the hell are you doing here?!" She demanded (stuttering) to know, her bladder totally forgotten - she just hoped secretly that she hadn't emptied it from the initial surprise/shock-moment.  
"Showering, I guess." He answered nonchalantly and shrugged. Sakura's cheeks turned a lovely shade of red at the realization. The signs had been there, her brain had been just to dumb to analyze them properly.

It was then, that she became even 'awarer' of all the things that came along with the act of Hatake Kakashi showering. For example his wonderful six-pack. 'Hell, yeah!!', Inner Sakura gave him a ten, five stars and thumbs up for the sight he presented.  
A shinobi's flat, trained stomach was just about the most bite-able thing ever in Sakura's mind and even though she was trying to beat her inner self senseless for pointing it out so blatantly to her, Kakashi had the most wonderful one she had ever happened to stumble across.

And she was an expert! Sakura had seen so many bodies in her job as head medic at the hospital, that she had at one point thought,  
she had gained immunity against this particular part of the male anatomy.

Wrong!  
She shook her head (mentally) to get the image of his abs, chest, legs (down girl!) out of her brain! This was wrong in so many ways that she could easily fill an afternoon philosophizing about it (she should found a self-help group:  
'Victims of Kakashi-six-pack-induced stupidity').

"Sakura"  
Huh? Had she conked?

"Uhm... uh... " A diversion, she needed a diversion! Anything was good enough right now!... Did it smell like a rose garden in here?  
"Did you use my special hair shampoo?!" Hook, line and sinker!

"He, he, he..." Like a kid caught with the hand in the cookie-jar, Kakashi chuckled nervously. His eyes creased into a smile and his hand scratched the back of his head uneasily.

Woah! Stop the tape and rewind that scene again, please!

His hand had left unconsciously the place where it had been holding the towel around his waist and had wandered instead up to his overly sexy, messy, wet, silver hair to scratch it in embarrassment. The towel slipped away into non-existence and another sight presented itself proudly to Sakura's burning eyes.

Sakura's brain malfunctioned, exploded and smoke came out of her ears. Her cheeks got tomato red and her green eyes widened in sweet realization.

The box of pandora had been opened.  
And like on 'Domino Day', the events took their disastrous courses:

Shrieking, Sakura pointed an accusing finger at the man before her, yelled "Perverted ass!!" and stumbled out of the bathroom in less than a second. At the same time, her feet got tangled up in her bandages, she had so expertly unwrapped only heartbeats ago and fell head first over the back of the couch.

A glass broke and Genma jumped up sleepily, bumping his head hard on the coffee table. He swore soundly in pain and kicked the next best thing in reach: the legs of said table. An action that led to a sqeaking noise originating from the strained screws in the wood mere seconds before the table buckled under the weight of two male ninjas.

Naruto and Kiba both woke with a start, yelping and grabbing onto the thing nearest to them: Each other.  
"What the fucking hell!!" The blond asked no-one in particular, pushing away an unfortunate Kiba, who landed in a heap on Tusnade's slave-guys.

Sakura (having barely seen anything of the mentioned happenings) sat up again on the couch with her legs thrown across the back of the furniture, feet sticking high into the murky air of her living room. She could barely look through the space between her thighs at the open bathroom door, where a frowning, bewildered Kakashi had decided to emerge just then.

Naruto, still swearing some curses not meant for children to hear, got up from his predicament, glaring daggers down at a totally dazzled young man.  
"Kiba! Try your moves again on me and I'll rip ya apart!! Fuck!"

Suddenly the door to Sakura's room burst open and Ino appeared. She had a blanket flung around her obviously nude body and stared disbelievingly first at Sakura and then (following her friend's gaze) at Kakashi.  
"Oh, my God! Sakura, you and him?!" She yelled for the whole world to hear.

Which it did.

Naruto snapped around, Kiba and the other three baffled men on the ground jumped up and Chouji (almost as equally undressed as Ino) appeared beside his comrade... lover... whatever in the door to Sakura's room. The assembled shinobis stared for the longest moment at their two friends, until Naruto came to his senses (or lost them, to be precise).

"Wh-what the..." His voice stopped working as his mouth went dry. "Kakashi-sensei, how could you?!" He asked the man standing in front of Sakura's spread legs. It must have been Naruto's hoarse voice that brought Kakashi out of his shock, but suddenly he realized just what the other men and woman were seeing right now.

A naked 35 year old, Icha Icha reading pervert standing in front of a 21 year old kunoichi with a body screaming 'Miaow', an unzipped dress and unwrapped leg-bandages.

He was a dead man.

The last thing he heard before he got tackled down by Naruto, was his ex-student's angry voice screaming at the top of lungs: "Kakashiiiiiiii!!!"

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Finis!?

This is either a one-shot or the beginning of a small series of a story evolving around the newest couple that had been allowed through the shipper-gate in my brain: Kakashi/Sakura

Story has potential? This prologue made you curious?  
Well, well... what could you do to make me write some more??? I wonder...


	2. Chapter 2

Author speaking:  
Sorry for not having updated this earlier, but I had to learn (against my will) for my intermediate diploma. I passed and now I'm free to whatever evil deed my mind can come up with! Muahahahahahaha!! (I can't hear any applause btw... makes me wonder whether my achievement isn't so special after all... weep!). 

I wanna thank everybody who's been so kind to review! I even got some favs and alerts (angels are singing the melody of gratitude in my heart). I love ya all and hope this chapter pleases your KakaSaku-warped minds.

This is farely short (for me anyway), but I hope it doesn't matter.  
Now go on and r&r!!!!

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Pick up bottle, throw it into the bin. Pick up half digested pizza, refrain from throwing up and throw it instead into the bin.

Sakura should probably write a song about her new favourite free time activity. Maybe give it a title, like 'Party Trash' or 'Kill the Guys'. Either fit, though the latter had a more inviting melody than the first...

Seriously! The pinkette had been cleaning her apartment for close to three hours now and still wasn't finished.  
She still had to scrub the kitchen 'and' the bath!

'The' bath... she shuddered at the memory and clawed at er eyes to get rid of the damn image burned into her retina for the rest of her young life. Would she ever be able to enter the small sanitary room without always going beet red and moan in frustration? Not that she found the picture of one Hatake Kakashi, in all his male, naked glory, too disgusting. Mind you! It was more the opposite than anything else. Sakura could barely sleep anymore without dreaming of what exactly he could do to her with all those muscles, and that... she would love to see his face (aka eye) transform from that ever present smirk into a concentrated frown.

She felt and behaved like a child. That much, she had already been able to figure out by herself. That a seasoned kunoichi like her would ever chicken out because of small things (relatively seen) like the nakedness of her former sensei was kilometers beyond her own (always logical) reasoning.

She was a medic for God's sake! A MEDIC!! Sakura couldn't persist on that especially gruesome fact often enough.  
In her line of work, her eyes had gotten sight of so many naked men, that she had soon seen almost every male being in and around Konoha with or without (in the case of some unfortunate creatures) their precious jewels... with nothing more than a slight appreciative nod at the most!

Aaaaand... she was 21. An age most young women (kunoichi or not) had already had enough of their own fare share of contacts with the male anatomy. Sex was no foreigner to the pinkette. Period.

Grabbing the sheets of her bed with a disgusted grimace, Sakura waded to the bin filled to the rim with trash and stuffed them inside as well. With a grunt, she dragged the heavy thing across her living room and out onto the balcony. Her little private oasis was the only part of her apartment that hadn't been destroyed and Sakura watched with a content smile as the red and yellow flowers, she had so carefully taken care of, opened their small heads to the rising sun.

Sigh...

Dreamily, she took the lighter from the nearby garden table and flicked it on with a deft motion of her thumb. She held the fire to the edge of her bed sheets and watched with a tear trickling down her cheek as the flames licked greedily at the soft, silky material. Soon the content of the bin stood on fire and a small nuclear cloud rose from the last remains of her disastrous party.

At least now, she would no longer have to think of what exactly Ino and Chouji had done in her favourite bed sheets.  
A cold shudder went down her spine, ending in her bare toes. Irks!

Back inside, she allowed herself to plop down on her couch with a huffing noise. Sakura buried her face in her palms and breathed slowly through her nose.

Day two of her one week vacation hadn't started so well (she had to admit, that yesterday, known as the day of doooom, she had completely ignored life and had locked herself up inside her bedroom with nothing more than a TV and ice-cream.  
And day three didn't seem to be holding any big (another word that made her scream mentally) revelations.

'Childish child' went through her mind and she groaned, bathing in self-loathing.

Apart from watching films that contained lots of swearing and murder, Sakura had used the last 24 hours to make up scenarios in which she very sovereignly mastered 'the incident' in her bathroom with wonderful remarks and ninja-ish actions.

One went something like that:  
"Yo." She heard Kakashi say and turned her head around to meet his covered face. Her hands stopped in the process of unwinding the bandages from around her legs and she made a circular motion with her right index finger.  
"Would you please turn around while I undress?" She said with a wink and re-assumed her task.

The second (her favourite) scenario went that way:  
"Yo." She heard Kakashi say and turned her head around to meet his covered face. A predatory smile crept up on her lips as she didn't falter in the task of unwrapping her legs from their confinements. Slowly she advanced towards the slightly baffled man. "I was looking for you, Kakashi-sensei..." Sakura drawled and as the last centimeters of her bandages fell on the tiled floor, she pulled the towel from around his face and pressed her lips to his gorgeous mou...

Eyes squeezed tightly shut, Sakura shook her head to get rid of her newest fantasy (a first time with Kakashi as the male counterpart though.) .

Maybe she should go and get something healthy to eat. As already mentioned, she hadn't really swallowed anything that wasn't at least slight heart-attack-causing or liver-destroying... did the candy apple count as healthy 'and' unhealthy?  
Hmm...

Having made up her mind, Sakura got her purse and locked the door behind her. As she walked down the stairs to the first floor, she made sure that the entrance to the small practice was secured.  
Yes, Sakura was the proud leader of Konoha's smallest and at the same time most successful doctor's surgery! In her rare spare time she took care of normal civilians, curing dripping noses and mending broken arms. She listened patiently to old grannies complaining about their creaking joints and used ear-plugs to refrain from strangling screaming children.

This week, she had closed the practice against the complaints of some long-term patients, just having wanted to free her mind for once from daily problems and allow her chakra reserves to get loaded with youthful energy (Lee was definitely rubbing off on her).

Rolling her eyes, she tried not to remember the 'incident' that had blown her plans out of the window with a wonderful fireworks... if she ever happened to tumble across Kakashi's unfortunate being, she would make sure that he got his cheeky grin wiped off of his hidden mouth for the rest of eternity!

Her right foot had barely touched the outside world, when she found herself in the middle of everybody's attention.  
She felt like she was walking around with neon-signs above her head, pointing down at her bright red head.  
If she had disguised herself as walking sausage, she would have probaly drawn less attention.

"Yes, yes, that's her."

Frowning, Sakura found herself being watched by two young women standing in the shop to her left. One of them was whispering conspiratorially into the other woman's ear, staring not so subtly at the pink haired medic walking by. Unfortunately (for them) Sakura was a kunoichi and had ears that could hear a needle falling on a cussion a mile away and against the wind! In other words: she heard every damn syllable.

"She saw 'him'." The first woman said in a low, venomous tone of voice, a dramatic gasp ensuing from the second one.  
"Everything?"

'Don't tell me...', Sakura thought, the heat rising to her cheeks.

"E-v-e-r-y inch"  
"That bitch!" The second spat through gritted teeth, throwing daggers dripping with death-wishes at the startled and baffled kunoichi. There was no doubt of what exactly Sakura had seen every inch of and it made her wanne rip apart her damn bathroom door and split the ground in front of her!

Who in hell had started the damn windmill? Oh, she would kill him/her painfully!!

In her mind, it could have been everybody present when 'it' had happened! On top of her list, naturally, Ino. Sakura doubted the blond had even waited long enough to get across the street of her apartment, having probably told the next best Kakashi-obsessed fangirl just what exactly had happened! Ino would soon need a wig... for a long,  
long time. (Insert evil laughter here)

But of course, there were also Tsunade's slave-boys. Izumo and Kotetsu had surely told Shizune and Shizune had told Tsunade and Tsunade... Sakura could only hope that the Fifth had refrained from sending memos to every ninja stationed here. (Said thing had only recently happened when Kurenai and Asuma had been photographed making out in the park. Nobody had cared that it had been quite obvious that the two had something going. Tsunade hadn't seen a reason why she should in that case 'not' show the world what exactly they had.)

"Just look at her! She doens't deserve his attention!"

Eye twitching, Sakura subtly threw a senbon at the pole holding the canopy of the little shop up. The pole broke in half, the canopy went down with a loud 'TWACK' and the two gossiping women shrieked in terror and surprise. Content for now, Sakura rounded the corner to the next street...

And collided with a dango-eating madwoman.

"Yay, if it isn't our pink bunny!" Anko exclaimed with a false smile around a mouthful of sweets. The tooth-pick went flying into a nearby wall, barely missing a puppy sniffing at the bricks.

Kurenai shook her head and gave Sakura a friendly nod. She had a large gash obscuring her porcelain cheek and Sakura put one and one together.  
"How was the mission?" She asked. Ninjas always asked each other how it had gone. An unwritten law or something like that.

"Good." Kurenai answered with a sly smile.  
Translation: We had some serious trouble and landed in a pit full of some deep shit. We bleeded at least twice to death and ate more dirst than we could chew. But via some miraculous miracle and the help of some angels we got back in more than one piece, but without losing anybody.

"Good to he-" Sakura never got the chance to finish her sentence when Anko suddenly appeared beside her and slung her arm in a 'friendly' manner around the medic's shoulders, trapping her effectively.

"Enough with the crap." The maniac inside the purple-head had gained the upper hand, meaning: RUN!! Run for your damn life, Sakura!!

"We want some details. And don't be greedy with them, fluffy-toffy." Anko whispered in a low dangerous voice.

Gulping, Sakura fought for composure and edged away from the monster. But the tentacles didn't loosen and the fluffy-toffy, ehm, the pinkette was trapped.  
"I don't know what you're talking ab-" Again, she got stopped mid-sentence, but this time from:

Kurenai slapped Sakura companionably on the shoulder, making her flinch slightly.  
"Don't stall, young lady." She admonished with a happy grin. "How big is he."

Sakura gasped dramatically and turned pale like the silk sheets she had burnt some minutes ago.  
"Wh-what... I mean... why should I tell you of all people that?! I'm not running around and ask you (she pointed at Kurenai) how big Asuma is, for God's sake!" She cried, obviously desperate beyond words. She still had the option to just render them immobile by messing up their neuro-system, but that would only be her last straw (Tsunade wouldn't count that as self-defense-measure).

"Well, if ya wanna know... "Kurenai began, her red eyes twinkling mischievously when she found Sakura's jaw hitting the ground in disbelief.

"Dammit!" Sakura groaned (almost) in defeat. "Why is nobody talking about Ino and Chouji making God knows what in my bed!?" She demanded to know, trying to free herself out of Anko's friendly death-grip. To no avail. She was trapped like a dear surrounded by a pack of wolves. And for tonight's dinner we serve Sakura a la cherry blossom...

"Well, that was pretty obvious, if you ask me." Anko explained matter of factly. "Same as with her (she pointed at Kurenai) and the smoke-bomb. But you and Mr. lazy-ass? That's just about the best thing since the invention of aerodynamic kunais!" Anko slapped Sakura so hard on her shoulder, that she knocked the air out of the poor toffy's lungs.

Frowning, Sakura's thoughts suddenly zoomed in on something that hadn't hit her yet.  
Why was everybody so damn disbelieving about the possibility of her and Kakashi having something (not that there was actually anything, mind you! The whole thing was just a grand cloud of warm air... dammit)?? Was it so far fetched to assume a very, very good looking, handsome (no point denying that) man had a love affair with a stunning, beautiful (wide-foreheaded) young lady?

Sakura didn't have a man in her life right now, but would it be so off if she had decided to hit on her former sensei?!

She had no-one to hug her (except for Naruto!  
She had no-one to tell her he loved her (except for Naruto!  
She had no-one who'd do anything for her without questions (except for Naruto!  
She had no-one who kissed her passionately (except for Naruto... but he always paid dearly and with at least two teeth for stunts like these)!

Nostriles flaring angrily, she grabbed Anko's hand and unwound herself from the embrace.  
She had made up her mind then. It was time to show them all just who exactly she was!

She was Haruno Sakura! She had mastered the art of fan-girlishness to the point of perfection and it was time to find a new victim... uhm, fortunate soul who was man enough to be a match for her!!

"I'd say..." Sakura began, chin held high and arms rising ominously in front of her, "he's about that size."

Her palms were aligned parallel to one another with a large gap inbetween. A strong wind gushed through the streets, spilling Sakura's pink short hair over her shoulders. Somewhere in the distance Lee and Gai wept and birds sung their melody of innocence. Anko and Kurenai gaped like fishes out of the water and with no more than a silent, curt nod, Sakura turned away from the baffled women, walking down a road, she had better not stepped onto...

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FINIS?!

Next time (if you want): Kakashi can't evade the inevitable.


	3. Chapter 3

Author speaking: 

Thank you all for reviewing!! I love you!  
I hope this chapter came out better than I think it is... well, tell me later!

There's a special part at the end of the chapter for all the Saku? lovers out there!

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'Flap'

'... and as he stared into her frightened green eyes, he pulled her slim body closer to his'  
The tips of Kakashi's ears turned a lovely shade of red as he read the first sentence of the new site. He couldn't help himself, even though he had read 'Icha Icha Violence' approximately 36.5 times since he had bought it at his favourite bookstore. And there was a personal dedication on the first side!!

'To a truly inspired mind. J.'

J. was naturally Jiraiya, but only true fans knew the genius behind the books that brought every man's fantasy down on recicled paper. One day he would ask this great author to become his student. Kakashi would call him sensei and would contribute to those grande masterpieces of art!

Sighing, the silver-haired man shifted around, his back pressed against the waste container behind him and his legs lying in a stinking cardboard box. A plastic bag draped over his head made the water dripping down the roof above him form a puddle of murky water directly beside his hurting butt. He thought, there had never been a more uncomfortable place to be wedged into.

Yes, the infamous, most dangerous sharingan-Kakashi was in hiding.

To be precise he was hiding from-

"Kakashiiii!"  
For the third time in this hour, Naruto jumped across the roofs above Kakashi's head and for the third time in one hour he didn't find him. Kakashi was glad it paid off that he had been too lazy to show his students the art of camouflage when unable to use chakra.

To his dismay, the shinobi couldn't stay here forever. He had only one energy bar left and he so wouldn't drink from that puddle! Aaaand... he was nearly through his book (for the second time that day) and wanted to read the next volume (Icha Icha Violence ended with an evil cliffie! J. was such a genius!!).

Maybe he could crawl out of his cardboard box now that Naruto had only recently jumped past him and get something warm to eat... or go to the HQ and burn some noticeboards.

Why he should do such violent things, you ask?

Well, Tsunade had done the evil dead. A memo had been sent out to every station in the country and by now, even the Kazekage and some of his worst enemies (those kind of men with black nail polish) had surely heard of 'the incident'. Not that it was embarrassing for him to be the center of everybody's (EVERYBODY'S -male, female or unknown gender-) attention, but he had to admit, that it was slowly freaking him out to get asked whether he had deflowered any unspecific pink-haired head medic of Konoha in the last 48 hours.

The question had been funny the first time Genma had asked (four seconds after Sakura had disappeard behind a closed bedroom door at the 'morning of doooom') and it had even been funny when Gai had asked yesterday after a jounin briefing (having mentioned something about still youthful loins of fruits of passion). But when Genma had asked the fifth time and when Anko and Kurenai had walked past him that morning, staring very openly at his... nether region, he had started to freak out.

A chickened Kakashi was rarely heard off and even more rarely seen (about never in his life), but well... he slowly got the impression that life was a bitch these days.

If at least some truth lay behind the wild assumptions!  
(He hadn't just hoped that he had indeed had sex with his former student, right? No?... What a relief!)

Grunting, he scrambled out of his refuge/shack and stuffed his precious book back in his kunai pouch. Which didn't actually contain any kunais inside, because they could cut the cover and tear holes and- you get the idea. He gave his surroundings a quick glance and strolled as casually as one could possible look after emerging out of a dirty, dark cul de sac out onto the buzzing main street.

Almost instantly, about every eye was glued to him and if he hadn't been a person who was absolute completely in control of every body function, he would have started fidgeting. But instead of showing any weaknesses on his side, he pushed his hands into his wet trouser pockets (Irks!) and walked past rows of gaping, whispering people (mainly women... which brought an extra degree of discomfort to the poor man).

After some time of headless walking around, his eye suddenly settled on a senbon-sucking man who constantly thought with his crotch. It was getting too hot for Kakashi here and before any of his buddies could spot him, he jumped onto the next best roof and vanished behind a smoking chimney.

Sigh...

He should have seen this coming.  
Kakashi 'did' have the sharingan after all and it had been activated that morning! He could have easily evaded any precarious situation with the pink-haired heartthrob of many male dreams (Naruto, Genma, one of Tsunade's slave boys... to name only a few). But he had thrown causion to the wind and had practically walked openly into his fate!

Eyes wide shut!

Kakashi had walked out of the shower (her shower!) knowing she had entered clueless of his presence. He had stepped up behind her even when he had noticed the unwrapped bandages. He had even been so dumb to say 'Yo' and give her the shock of her young life. And then 'the slip'...

Not for the first time that day, Kakashi wished that he had just stayed inside the shower and had listened to the sounds of an emptying bladder. He should have just stepped out of the door and waited outside. He should have just shut the hell up!!

He suddenly had the need to pull at his stupid grey hair.  
And why was it grey anyway! He wasn't by any means old, for God's sake! Yes, he was aware of the female opinion, that he looked sexy and plain gorgeous with his 'silver', mysterious hair, but he had nothing of it. He had even thought about dyeing it in his youthful years.

Did Sakura like his hair color as well?  
Maybe she preferred black after all (considering Sasuke had the blackest black Kakashi had ever seen... soul 'and' hair) and he did totally ignore the state his hair was in every morning (bad hair day? Kakashi had invented that!). He should probably take more care of his assets, but he just thought, that there was no real reason to care either way! Until...

Why did he consider using hair gel now!  
That whole incident (and why was everybody referring to that morning as 'incident' or 'morning of doooom'?!) was pulling at his ego and was degrading his manliness! He was standing above such things and he was pretty sure Sakura was doing the same thing. Ignorance and denial were the best ways to overcome a crisis like this one! They were strong ninjas!  
They were laughing at the face of death every two minutes and fear was an emotion, Kakashi had never felt before!

"There you are!!!"

Fear! He had to run away!!

Not even turning to see who was hunting him down (he had glimpsed orange in the corner of his eye), Kakashi sped down the roofs and through the streets until he thought his boots were losing their tread. Soon the swearing and cursing ceased behind him though and after some minutes he found himself standing in front of a bar.

'Fate', he thought with a shrug and entered the gloomy hut with a happy grin.

Which faltered the second, he saw some of the early occupants.

"Hey! What a size, uhm, sight!" Anko yapped happily, her cheeks red from the booze. She was grinning rather stupidly back at him and Kakashi was just in the process of following his instincts and turn around, when-

"You going already?" Asuma appeared out of the nowhere right behind him, blocking the entrance very effectively. Behind him, Kurenai lurked over his broad shoulder, a smirk screaming Cheshire cat covering the better part of her lower face.  
At least she didn't stare at his-

"Big boy!" Anko yelled again, slightly slurred, but still very clear for everyone to hear. "Make a lonely woman happy, and come here!" Kakashi cringed inwardly, when he heard Genma and Raido chuckle (both happy, no-one was laughing at their expenses for once).

Yeah, keep on picking on the weak ones! You'll see what you get for messing with sharingan-Kakashi!

"Actually, yes." Kakashi answered Asuma's question finally. "I was just about to leave, when"  
"Nah! Ya come with me. There's a lot we have to talk about, buddy." Why had the 'buddy' suddenly the need to disappear in a puff of mysterious smoke? The bearded guy still blocking the 'exit from hell' grabbed him not so gently by his upper arm and dragged the poor man to the (interrogation) table.

Kakashi was being kidnapped! Why was no ninja around to save him!

Trying his best to keep his facade upright (slouchy, non-caring ninja in his mid-thirties), Kakashi sat down heavily in the chair opposite Anko (you could never get enough space between you and the maniac!) and was surprised, when she appeared suddenly beside him. Raido had mysteriously vanished out of the chair beside Kakashi and was now sprawled across the floor.

After a while, Kakashi felt his throat itching... no word had been uttered so far, but they were all gawking/grinning at him like he had just declared his undying love for green spandex and orange leg-warmers! He was slowly getting the impression, he had landed in a mute talk show.

It was then that Raido (having gathered up himself from the floor) poked Genma not so subtly in the ribs. An action that brought everybody out of their stupor and back to the topic at hand.  
"So, Kakashi." He drawled, his eyes twinkling evilly and his senbon rolling lazily from one corner of his mouth to the other. "Did you have sex in the last 48 hours with the pink bunny? Ya, know, the one with those gorgeous, long, smooth legs and the two handy arguments." He made a strange motion with his hands, which should have probably resembled the curvy form of a female body, but looked rather like a horse.

Kakashi sighed and drew mentally a 7th line on the prison cell wall of his imagination.  
But before he could reply with a sneaky comment, his mouth already opening, Anko beat him to it.

"You really believe she'd have survived him if he really 'is' that big?!" She asked with a risen brow screaming 'Yeah, as if'.

Kakashi narrowed his visible eye to a glaring slit, mused about using his sharingan to put her out of action for the next five days and dismissed that very pleasing thought after an internal argument with his responsible self. Tsunade might not consider that as self-defense-measure...

"Oh, Kakashi! My eternal rival!!" Gai suddenly exploded (Kakashi had actually feared the spandex beast had been sleeping, because there was no chance in hell he would keep still for more than ten seconds in his presence). "You are so youthful and manly!" (Oh, no... not that again...) "The pink cherry blossom should be eternally happy to have been taught the art of love by your spirited loins and-"

After that, Kakashi cut off the sound flowing from Gai's lips and thought about kunais and exploding tags.

"Kakashi." It was Kurenai this time and her eyes told him she meant business. Woman's business.  
"You like her, right?"

"Now wait just a secon-"  
"Shuddup!" Anko jumped in, slapping Kakashi so hard on the back, that he almost winced in public (always think about your reputation, old man!!)

"What's so bad about you trying to get into the pants of your ex-student! It's not like she's a man or ugly or underage or-"  
"We get the picture." Asuma mumbled around his cig, rolling his eyes when Kurenai gave him a profound glare for the rude interruption. She even had the nerve to edge away from him and treat him the cold shoulder. What a scandal!

"Ya should tell Mrs. Toffy!" The dango eating madwoman announced with a smirk, clapping her hands in delight. "She'll be begging for you to have some quality time with Mr. Big Bad Bum!"

Gaping, Kakashi was glad he was still wearing his mask... otherwise he would have lost his face already.  
Were they actually advicing him to make his moves on his ex-student? On the innocent creature of a woman? On the puppy-eyed, pouting, sexy, silky-haired bomb? The one with the long, smooth legs and the tight behind and-

Whip!!Down boy!  
They had to be kidding him!

Blinking a few times, he stopped daydreaming about Haruno Sakura and what he could do with her (Icha Icha Violence showed its ugly head a few times) and brought his attention back to the woman beside him. Who was currently in the process of showing Genma (tears cascading down his cheeks) and Asuma (a disbelieving look on his face) just how big Kakashi was said to be.

He did a double take, when he found Anko's hands aligned in front of her face, a reasonable large gap showing between her palms. Was that actually saliva dripping out of her mouth?  
"Where the hell did you get that... measurement from?!" He demanded to know, horrified expression clearly visible on the ten percent of his face that weren't hair, brows or hidden under the mask (...his eye, Duh!)

"Sugar bunny told us!" Anko drawled with a malicious grin. "Was her judgment too generous? The real thing ain't that big, ne?!"

Spluttering, Kakashi nearly choked on his own saliva. Hastily, he cleared his throat a few times and tried in vain not to look anybody in the eyes... they were all grinning like Cheshire cats. He was slowly but surely losing his face.  
The poor man could see his reputation and dignity flying out of the window.

Sakura had told them?  
What the heck had she been thinking? He was pretty sure, she hadn't drunk enough to damage her brain irreversibly that night, so why in hell should she walk around town and tell every God damn madwoman things she wasn't even supposed to know... yet... well, anyway! Kakashi hadn't meant that thought to sound like he was again considering actually trying any moves on the pinkette.

Or had he?

"My head hurts." He mumbled, face buried in his palms, hiding the blush from the spying eyes boring into his skull.  
Kakashi needed some time to think. Maybe in another country! He could ask Tsunade for some leave... or a mission far far away! But knowing the Fifth, he was positive she'd rather lock him up in a room with Sakura to get more memos from hell!

Sakura.

He should probably talk to her about... things.  
For starters, he could apologize for the 'morning of doooom' and maybe that could clear some dark, perverted parts of his brain he could easily use to write his own Icha Icha series. Starring him and pink nurses.

"I'm off." He suddenly announced, rising from the chair and turning away so quickly, that not even Anko had the chance to sling her tentacle arms around him. No way he would stay another second there. Kakashi had better things to do.

Hide from Naruto, was one of them.  
The second being, naturally, his quest to find Haruno Sakura. The main reason for the headache currently splitting his head in two.

Closing the door of the bar behind him, Kakashi jumped onto the next best roof and headed to the one place, he was 100 sure he would find her.

-.-.-.-.-.-.

- Interlude I:

Dry leaves crunched under the black boots as their owner wandered slowly through the thick underbrush of the forest.  
It was absolutely silent around him, not even the birds daring to sing their melodies in his menacing presence.

When he finally reached a small clearing, his keen dark eyes scanned his surroundings methodically. Nothing ever escaped his piercing gaze. Not even the smallest... sheet of paper...

Frowning, the silent man wandered carefully to where the sheet was lying peacefully on the mossy ground. A bee was sitting in the middle of it, succumbing to the warmth of the few rays of light that had been able to penetrate the crowns of the surrounding trees.

Once more, eyes -red pinwheel eyes- looked around to make sure he hadn't stepped into a trap.  
But nobody was there and he couldn't feel any chakra signatures looming in the distance.  
Callused fingers closed around the edge of the printed paper, the bee flying startled away into the distance.

He squinted his eyes in confusion when he read the few sentences that were written on the sheet.

'Memo from Hokage the Fifth,' it started and with new found curiosity, the man continued reading.  
'On August the 5th, Hatake Kakashi was seen to have seduced Haruno Sakura! The rumor spreads that they had sex! I repeat! Haruno Sakura and Hatake Kakashi are very likely together!'

The sheet of innocent paper combust spontaneously in Uchiha Sasuke's hands and a long pained cry escaped his lips in anguish and desperation.  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

A new enemy was born...

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

FINIS!??

Third chapter! I'm not so sure what to make of it. The beginning was ok, but in the end I lost sight of the real thing I wanted to write... hope you like it though... I can only hope! Review to tell me your opinion!!

Next interlude: another one finds the memo!


	4. Chapter 4

Author speaking: 

SORRY!! This story took me... a very long while, because lately, there is so much to do! I barely get the time to write anymore, but I'm trying as hard as possible to get this done faster!

I really hope you like this, even though it's a bit shorter!  
R&r!!

Hugs go to Maren, Katrin and Shan! (e)KHW 4ever!!!!!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Kakashi had made it.

Standing in front of the large hospital, harboring some of the best medics in the world, he swept a gloved palm over his hitai-ate... well, over his forehead, but that was covered by said hitai-ate, so the whole 'get-the-sweat-off-of-skin-motion' was a wasted effort to look cool.

Rolling his eyes at himself (because he was man enough to know when he had failed his own coolness), the silver-haired jounin walked through the front doors into the very large waiting area. Almost instantly, a nurse appeared in his line of view and a bit startled, he gave her the ominous risen eyebrow.

"Can I help you? Are you hurt? Jounin? A- or S-rank mission?" The overexcited woman fired a load of questions at the poor man, who had barely the time to dodge them. Naturally, he was acquainted to the standard procedure and the question 'jounin' meant as much as 'Hokage pays for private rooms and extra examinations'.

And the question 'A- or S-rank mission' was a substitute for 'more than one limb missing?'.

He had gone through that stuff about... maaaany times and knew how to outsmart most of the nurses by now.

Kakashi's one visible eye went suddenly and without apparent reasons wide and he started stuttering a "Wh-what the h-hell?". At the same time he lifted his hand and pointed a trembling index finger at something reeealy awful behind the frowning nurse. (He was such a good actor!)

The woman swivelled around, trying to see what gross activities and happenings took place behind her back (A suicide? A monster? Jiraiya peeking under her dress?) and gasped at the sheer horror at seeing: a vomiting Chouji (too much BBQ...).

By the time when the nurse had finally realized that actually nothing world-moving had occured (Chouji was a well known guest at the hospital), Kakashi had already sneaked away down the hallway and was heading to the third floor to the IC units. He was pretty sure (his hyper-intelligent brain was so absolutely smart), that the object of his desire(s) was probably currently sticking a hand in the open belly of some poor chuunin and was trying to save lives.

Well, he was trying to save a life, too.  
'His' life!

So he totally ignored the 'staff only' sign at the door and pushed it open while whistling the tunes of a lemonade advert he had heard that morning under the shower. Carefree like a two years old kid playing with candles, the shinobi (and the talk of the town) sauntered happily through the corridor.

Good thing he had a mask, because Kakashi despised the smell of disinfectant and rotten bodies almost more than people without any sense for teamwork! So he was absolutely unfazed by the scent that clung to his clothes and would later be needed to get washed out.

"Mr. Hatake?"

Not faltering in his stride, he moved his eyeball to the where the timid voice had come from and found a young, short 'could-soon-be-a-woman' girl standing in the door of the reception. She was clutching a clipboard to her chest and stared up at the still walking man with big round eyes.

"Y-you can't walk around h-here without permission." The Hinata-double mumbled, fidgeting around with a pen. "If you don't have an appointment, then please come at the visiting hours."

That finally had some effect on the man in question and he came to a halt in mid-lift of his leg.  
Didn't she understand that he had a mission to accomplish?

"I am sure this is alright." He answered confidently, his eye crinkling up into a smile and he turned back around to reach his destination, who was probably still having her hands full of guts and blood. He was way too aware of his own reputation as a loveless bad-ass-human-killing-machine to realize that said reputation had gone down the plughole two days ago most spectacularly.

_What should have happened_

"Yes, Mr. 'wonderful-behind'. I will see to it, that Haruno Sakura waits for you in a private room."

Kakashi watched with a pleasant smile as the young nurse turned around and headed for the intercom. She pressed a button and her voice errupted from the loudspeakers at the ceiling in every room and hallway.  
"Mrs. Haruno, Hatake Kakashi is waiting to get seduced in room 308."

Chuckling warmly, the gorgeous exemplar of a male shinobi strode expectantly to the mentioned room and pushed the door open. His eye immediately fell on a pinkette, wearing a way too short nurse dress and hopefully no underwear. She was licking her finger suggestively and slowly sat down on the stretcher behind her.

"Someone asked for a privat examination?" She breathed out with a pout, trailing her eyes down to his nether region.  
"Yes." Kakashi said in a husky tone of voice, his hands busying themselves with opening his ninja vest. "You!"

He was on her in two strides, the door closing softly behind them...

_What really happened_

"No, it isn't alright." He heard the nurse say and watched her a bit dumbstruck, while she switched on the intercom and spoke in a low tone of voice (as if she was being conspiratorially talking with someone in a dark basement) through the device.

"Hokage Tsunade to the reception. I repeat: Tsunade, ma'am, you are needed at the reception!"

If Kakashi hadn't been wearing his mask, his jaw would have probably hit the ground and his eyes would have fallen out in shock. He had to make an escape! Fast! Before hell opened its doors and spit out the one person he had wanted to strangle yesterday for having produced a hand-written memo containing his and Sakura's names!

Snapping his head around, he went for the only exit near enough: a window. He could break it with a kunai -no problem there- and could jump down the three floors without as much as some scratches! He 'was' after all Hatake Kakashi and had escaped far worse situations in his life already (he couldn't specifically remember any right now... but there just 'had' to be some'thing' worse than a mad Hokage!... Right?).

The door he had just been in the process of walking through closed into his face and he felt his nose crack under the impact. Stars exploded in front of his vision and with a cried "Bwargl" he fell back and landed painfully on his six.

"If it isn't Kakashi..." He dimly heard the voice of his superior drawl and just knew that she was way too satisfied with her actions than was healthy for any normal person. He could just imagine the sneer on her lips.

"If it isn't me." He replied a bit nasally, wincing when his fingers touched his (for the 19th time) broken nose. He would never get used to that kind of injury, no matter how often it had occured. Hopefully, the Fifth would take responsibility and fix the fractured bone later. Kakashi hated bleeding noses (despite his reading material and perverted characteristics).

"What do you think you're doing here, Hatake?!" The woman with the two striking arguments demanded to know, watching the silver-haired man getting up from the unforgiving linoleum floor. He gave a sloppy salute and his posture shrank to his typical slouch, hands in his pockets.

"Well..." Looking for that sexy apprentice of yours and trying to tell her without jumping her on the spot, that the two of them should stay at least a hundred meters away from each other for the time being, because there was a real possibility that they could disappear for an unknown amount of days in either her or his apartment for reasons, too filthy to get thought at such an unreasonable hour.

"I have that... broken nose... and I wanted to drop by to... get it fixed..." Kakashi trailed off, making a vague motion with his hand. In return, Tsunade lifted a blond eyebrow and started tapping her foot impatiently on the floor. Kakashi's hand retracted out of mid-air and he scratched his silver head instead.

"Uh-huh." It was pretty obvious that the Fifth didn't believe one single word leaving his hidden lips. "Just for the records," she continued, her body already in the process of turning back around, her large boobs moving hypnotically along. No wonder Jiraiya was a broad-chest-fanatist.

"I am explicitly aware of your sexual desire to subdue my very much needed apprentice." Kakashi stared incredulously at the back of Tsunade's head, feeling his heart sinking into his trousers and his facial color matched easily that of his hair.

Sexual desire? He couldn't even think about such NC-17 rated stuff without turning bright red! So what the heck, was the Fifth implying there? Did she think he merely intended to get into Sakura's pants just like that senbon-sucker usually tried without success?

Kakashi didn't really know what it was that he actually wanted from his former student, but why for the sake of his sanity, would he suddenly, out of the blue 'desire' her in such an intimate way? He had never thougth along that line before and had been perfectly fine with their teacher-student-kind of relationship until the day before yesterday, but since then, some parts of him (body and mind related) just seemed to dance limbo whenever he even heard her name.

Had he gone jiraiya in his old days?

"Let this be a warning: Hands off if you wanna have some plain fun!"

A warning from the Hokage? She could create canyons with her pinky and most male beings felt so intimidated by the sheer mention of her name, that even more fainted when seeing her on a picture. And right now, Kakashi was on the receiving end of a personal threat. Tsunade had a vendetta going against him... suicide should be less painful.

What a lucky guy he was. All the ladies were after him.

He tried not to splutter and decided to give her the silent treatment in form of a shrugged shoulder. That way he still kept his uncaring attitude alive 'and' refrained from signing his death sentence with a stupid remark. And he was famous for all kind of not so thought-out comments (he had a monopole on wise-ass-cracks).

Sauntering after Tsunade (he hoped she actually wanted to treat him and not kill him straight away), Kakashi watched mildly interested as several female heads peered around some corners and watched him walk behind their superior. Some hushed conversations ensued and here and there, he even heard Sakura's and his name being mentioned.

What made his headache ache though, wasn't the attention he drew whenever he decided to roam open places these days.  
He was still slightly out of his depths regarding Tsunade's opinion on the male psyche -on his male psyche- and just couldn't forget the harsh description of his suddenly aroused need for a certain pink-haired medic.

'Sexual desire'. The words haunted his mind, even as he walked into the room with the number 308 (sounded vaguely familiar.  
Was that really all this was about? Was he merely in a short phase of his life between puberty and retirement in which he wanted to get as much of his youth back as possible (by seducing women many years his junior)?

Before he could pursue the matter any further, a hand appeared in front of his face, an index finger and thumb pinching the bridge of his (very sensitive, throbbing, bleeding) nose and he nearly yelped in surprise and pain.

Tsunade -the wrongdoer- grinned evilly back at him through the tears in his eye(s.  
"I'll have somebody come and take care of you crybaby. Seriously. How you got that famous among the bad guys is still a mystery to me..." He heard her voice trail off as she left him in the plain white room. At least she hadn't ordered him to take off any clothes and wear one of those pesky hospital gowns.

He could just imagine half of his behind lurking out from the parted curtains...

But back to his problem!

So what if he really was slightly attracted to Sakura in the sexual meaning of the word? Was that such a big problem?  
Now really! Who wasn't somehow drawn to her? He could name at least a dozen men (and women) who swarmed around her like bees around the cherry blossoms!

He was a healthy individual of the male species and would have to be blind 'not' to notice certain features of the object of his desires.

Deep in thoughts, Kakashi didn't hear the sound of the door being opened.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Interlude II:

Slowly and methodically, the brush moved over the newly polished surface of the clear nail of the big toe, leaving a black trail in its wake. Another few fine strokes and the complete surface was covered in the dark color.

Sitting up straighter, Itachi narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing his handwork and looking for uncolored spots. To his satisfaction, his nails looked as perfect as somehow possible and he doubted he'd have looked better after a 5 stars manicure.

A slight knock at his door echoed through the small room he had been assigned (the new hideout wasn't really... spacious, but the oldest living Uchiha had already heard his fish-friend when he had entered the corridor. How such a plump idiot had climbed the ladder to hyper-S-class-criminal was sometimes beyond the black-haired man.

"Yes." He merely said, capping the nail polish again and putting it back in the small bag.

The door burst open and a (very) widely grinning Kisame appeared, the sharp teeth glinting dangerously in the little light beside the door. His Samehada was nowhere to be seen, but that didn't really matter anyway. That guy was strong enough to defend himself if necessary (well, not against Itachi... Duh!).

"Yo, Itachi!" He barked out, chuckling and shaking his head at something funny, Itachi had yet to uncover. The fish-man walked straight to where his partner was sitting cross legged on the bed, a sheet of paper dangling from between his grey fingers. "Ya gotta take a look at this!"

Lifting an intrigued eyebrow (well, Itachi still looked like he was under the influence of some heavy sedatives, more impassive than a dead opossum, but Kisame had learned to read the little things when it came to the silent man), the Uchiha stared at the offered paper, his eyes flying over the words.

"It's a memo from the Fifth! Can you believe that insane shit?" Kisame could barely contain his laughter anymore and with a deep roaring chuckle, he closed his eyes against the tears from the sheer humor of repeating the memo in his mind.

"That Hatake-bastard and that pink boob-less babe?! Man, he has to be desperate! Wahahahahaha!!"

The sudden feeling of heat licking at his fingers made him open his eyes again though and with his gaze frowning down at the paper, he found the unmistakable black flames of Itachi's Amaterasu eating greedily away at the memo (still tightly clasped in Kisame's grasp).

"What the fuck!" He yelled, letting go of the dangerously burning sheet of innocent paper, his eyes staring incredulously at the unfazed Itachi. Well, unfazed to the inexperienced bystander! In reality, Kisame could practically see the clouds of fume ascending from the shinobi's ears and his turned on sharingan were spinning twice the speed than normal!

Itachi had freaked out, the last of his screws finally loose!  
And now, the hideout was going to burn down from an inextinguishable fire set by a mad Uchiha!

"Shit!" A voice suddenly yelled from the door and instantly, Deidara appeared beside the startled fish-man. The sheet of burning paper lay on the floor and the flames were already in the process of spreading out onto the nearby bed.  
"Itachi stop that insane crap, yeah?!" The blond bad guy shouted, but to his dismay and surprise, the man in question had vanished in thin air.

Not knowing what else to do, Kisame and Deidara started trampling on the small sheet, hitting their heads more than anything else though.

But instead of going out, the black flame jumped onto the next flammable material: the super-cool Akatsuki cloaks of both Kisame and Deidara! Screeching in fear and terror, the two wound out of their clothes, decided to abandon the room and hideout and dashed outside, warning all the other members of the (not so) secret organization to scram and run for their lives.

Meanwhile, Itachi stood on the branch of a tall tree, his red pinwheel eyes glaring darkly at an unknown spot somewhere in the distance.

"Hatake Kakashi." He mumbled, his sharingan transforming into the mangekyou...

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

FINIS?!

Again sorry for the long wait!! Hope you liked it!!

I decided to start a poll for you: who should read the memo next in Interlude III? Open for suggestions!!


End file.
